[x]

Still Into YouWhy am I still so hung up on you ?!
It's been 9 months 8 days ...
The clock chimes midnight
Another day has passed.
Another day of nothingness,
Another day without you.
I still think about you,
They'll tell me I'm stupid and
I should get over it , but I can't

I no longer sleep at night.
Too busy
Thinking,
Wishing,
Analysing
Everything,
Every conversation,
Smile,
Touch,
Looking desperately for a deeper meaning,
A deeper title than 'just friends' as you repeatedly called us.

I do wonder..
What's it like from your perspective ?
I pass your workplace everyday
Looking in
With hope
That maybe you'll look up and notice me
That I'll s

One or the OtherEither I'm
Starting to
Hate you

Or my loneliness
Has found its voice
And it keens
All night long

EndBossThis pressure is so thick in my head
I'd rather stay put in my bed
Rather count these lovely flies
And recover from goodbyes

Too many cuts, too many farewells
It's hard to choose between my shells
But I can't live in – I can't breathe in
In and back out, total blackout

Life is becoming unbearable
It's simply because I'm incapable
Of walking onwards, forward
Believing is too much, too hard

At night I'm caught in a rush
My secrets are telling me to hush
I look at the limitless sky - see a wall
No freedom, I stumble, crash and fall

Sometimes I don't even feel the heat
The burning sun, my own heartbeat
I'm freezing but frustrations figh

The Abuser

hi, there!
i'm casting off all my
bluesy, blowsy layers
untangling the threads of
what shouldn't have stayed
stitching the best bits back
together again
forever and again
i shall be the one you want
(this is heaven, i think
i wouldn't know
but he says it is, so...)

i am designed to please
once i get past what i was
created, now, to be
you need a towering paragon
of strength, of love, of virtue
i can give all that and more
for you won't take the other
you won't take my other self
forget her
(you taste like diamonds
darling of mine
sharp and beautiful)

come, love
bring me back again, please?
when you to

MotherMother,
don't you see it's time?
To move on,
lighten your heart,
brighten your mind.

Mother,
don't you see?
I'm happy,
I am a flower in full bloom.

Radiant like the sun,
I shine like none other,
especially in his eyes,
and his smile so honest and bright.

Mother,
don't be scared.
I am stronger than what you think,
you have to trust me.
I won't let you down.

Mother,
I love you so,
I hate your disapproval,
I sure don't like it at all.

But mother,
you should know,
that right now,
he makes me happier than anybody could.

He is the one I love,
right here, right now.
Tomorrow doesn't matter,
I just know he is my sunshine, my joy,
a part of my

What I Want.No tears, will be here.

Found a broken heart in you;

Your words in my head.

We feel likewise dear.

Perfect footsteps as you walk,

and the things you said.

I struggle and fear,

As my vision tunnels; fades.

Our past is so dead.

I said, what I said,

And you should know what I mean.

This feeds my anger.

Sharp gaze like a spear,

I’d fall forever for you,

If time could just mend.

LiesWhy has reality been hidden from me my entire life?
Why didn't you tell me that it wasn't right from the beginning?
I'm not stupid.
You forced me to grow into an adult as a ten year old, forced me to take the responsibilities of your crimes.
I am the one whose shoulder you always lean on, the ear to whisper everything in.
A person who must always agree with you, without any own opinions.
I guess it was my fault, really.
I could've said no from the very start.
But I was weak.
I was too weak to find out the cold and bitter reality you've hidden from me since I was born.
You lied to me.
You said everything was okay, that we would make it through.
We did, but you never thought of me in the process.
Thought I could take it, because I was considered an adult when I really was a child.
A screaming child.
Crying.
Unknowing.
Sobbing.
A person whose childhood is gone since long.
You took my life away from me.
Made me accept all your lies and comforting words in the

WishesMessage in a bottle,
Please float away,
Take my wish (but)
Don't let me pray

For those who care
To cut out my eyes
To hide me from the world
By turning me blind

Because if someone does so
I won't be able to hold tight
To the words that allow me
To hold onto the light

And despite everything I say
I want to continue living
I just need someone
To drown out the misgivings.

InsecuritiesI don't like my freckles.
I'm really short.
My thighs touch each other.
Pretty? I'm not the sort.

My smile is crooked.
My stomach's too thick.
The stretch marks on my chest,
They make me sick.

My hands are too small.
My nose is shaped weird.
I'm gaining weight;
Something I've always feared.

There are two blue veins,
That go down from the corners of my lips.
Out of all my favorite clothes,
Nothing fits.

These seem like little things,
But none of them truly are.
All of these insecurities,
Don't bring me very far.

That One GuyWho was that one guy...?
Who wouldn't ask for help?
Who pushed away when it was given?
Who couldn't get a girl to save his life?
Not like he wanted to save it...

Who was that one guy...?
That one who refused to cry?
That one with the nerdy joke t-shirts?
That one who used to write girly poetry?
Not like he still does that...

Who was that one guy...?
The glasses wearing kid?
The one who said he was always ok?
The stubborn to the point of insanity one?
Not like anyone keeps asking though...

Who was that one guy...?
Do you care who really was?
Do you know he thinks you shouldn't?
Do you remember he really loved the rain?
Not like you shouldn'

ArmorLet the wind wipe away my tears.
Let it blow the faith back in me.
You fix my armor, but I'll take it down.
If you're here, then I'm safe and sound.
I'm better of with out.

This is How it FeelsConfined.
Restrained.
Unaligned.
Reclaimed.
Tomorrow.
Goodbye.
Sorrow.
Nearby.
Stand.
You.
Strand.
You.
Fading.
Anyway.
Maybe.
On your way.
Move.
Return.
Groove.
Concern.
Forward.
Like.
Toward.
Psych.
Embrace.
Left.
Face.
Theft.
Fall.
Off.
All.
Soft.
Best.
Ways.
Chest.
Days.
Increase.
Expand.
Cease.
Out of hand.
Much.
Away.
Such.
Stay.
Go.
Favor.
Joe.
Savored.

---

Our time is confined,
our actions restrained.
Three months unaligned
until we're reclaimed.

School's out tomorrow
Where we'll say goodbye.
I'll meet with my sorrow,
not having you nearby.

I can barely stand
the weekends without seeing you.
School's my only strand
of time I CAN

True FriendshipAm I a true friend?
For telling you what is wrong or right,
For giving you a small insight,
For telling it's wrong to bite?
Am I a true friend?
For giving you so much false hope,
For praying that you could cope,
For hoping that you could bear this load.
What is a true friend?
Someone you can tell your lies,
Someone you can share with pride,
Someone that is by your side?
Why be a true friend?
To be that one that could find some fame,
Being with someone to share the blame,
To have some place that you could aim?
There's no such thing as a true friend.
No one is a true friend,
Because true friendship is indefinable.
If you call me a true friend,
So be it.
If you want to be close to me,
So be it.
But if you're looking for a true friend,
you better look somewhere near the lee.
Because your true friend,
Sure as hell isn't me.

Mississippi and Friday NightsIt is a cloudy Friday night during the fall
The full blast of autumn chill is in the air
As one goes by a Mississippi town, both large and small
One could tell that the smell of two cross-town rivals is there

The townspeople can sense when The Big Day comes 'round
They close their stores for their evening in their town

The smell of cooked hamburgers, the aroma of hot dogs capture the senses
But all the action, one hour from now,was about to take place beyond the stadium's fences

Within the walls of the field house stood the visiting team, cleats clomping on the floor
The four school buses that took them there stood parked right near the f

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Like a Ninja

by ~xxxEmochixxxx, Dec 30, 2011, 8:20:41 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Urban & Spoken Word

You snuck into my heart like a ninja...
I hadn't even noticed you did until it was too late...

My heart tried to defend itself, trying to keep you at a distance like it does with everyone else in my life...
It built up walls, so high and strong built from my past's scars...
Traps were laid throughout it, fooling the foolish who fell for them...
Weapons were made at the ready to harm anyone who got too close to me, who were important to me...

But you evaded them all...
All the walls, all the traps, and all the weapons...
You dodged, weaved, jumped, and deflected each blow from my cold and dark heart...

But can you blame my heart for trying to defend itself from harm?
My heart had noticed what you were trying to do before I myself could...

As black as the night, your clothes blended into my dark heart...
making it easy for you to go unnoticed into my heart...

You snuck in like a ninja...
Running in silently, fast, purposely, and stubbornly...

When I finally realized what you were trying to do, I tried to warn you, I tried to run from you...

"You shouldn't like a person like me...I'm a freak...I'm too emotional for my own good..."

I tried to warn you of how broken I was, how cautious I am of relationships since they never ended well before...
They had always ended with me being left behind and broken when I found out that each of them cheated on me...only using me for my body...
Abusing me emotionally, physically, and mentally...

My heart and I tried to keep you away, tried to not hurt you or offend you any way...
But to no avail...
You found out my secret one day, about the red ink I wrote with on my arm, I saw the worry and hurt in your eyes...
I wanted to cry at that point thinking that I was going to lose you...

But you weren't like anyone I knew, you were full of surprises...
It turned out I didn't lose you and we still were friends and more later on...

Then, as silent and fast as you had snuck into my heart, you fled and left my heart...
Leaving it bleeding out it's sorrow for everyone to openly see...

I wasn't myself for a long time...
everyone was trying to comfort me, worrying about me...
But, I kept them at bay, away from my fragile heart, ignoring my pain until I was alone to let my tears fall...

My heart,

so fragile,
so cold,
so empty,
so broken...

My walls are stronger and higher, my traps even trickier,and my weapons even faster, sturdier, and sharper...
Next time, my heart will be better at defending itself from anymore ninjas...

Because like a ninja, you snuck into my heart silently, purposely, and diligently...